Dream Poem #5

There I was

all lonesome and confused

feeling like a fool just looking to be used

when who should appear

in large white boots

and some serious eyewear

Johnny  Depp of course!

He slid in beside me on a very narrow bench by the lake

a new lake

one I’d never been to before

“Open your left hand.” Johnny whispered in my ear

a little too conspiratorial for my liking

but I was curious and produced my open left hand, palm up

Into which he dropped three different car keys

A green key for a Mazda

A blue key for a Toyota

And a pink key for a Ford

I was shocked that he was giving me three cars

“Oh, you can only have one car, you must choose which key.  It’s for your birthday present!”  He said, grinning from ear to ear, LITERALLY from one earlobe to the other.  Johnny Depp has a very wide mouth I pondered while he patiently waited for me to make a choice.

“Johnny, it’s not my birthday and it’s weird that you are giving me a car.”

“Take it, he said.  “It’s an early birthday gift.”

I looked at the keys, feeling uneasy and chose the Toyota. A that point Johnny Depp  started to walk away very slowly, actually like a snail, low to the ground with legs that were becoming shorter with each step.  Something was troubling me about his gift.  It wasn’t sensible.  The more I ruminated on this the closer I got to a eureka moment and when I did I whistled to Johnny Depp.

“Hey, Johnny, get your ass over here I have a bone to pick with you.”

In an instant (and I do mean immediately) Johnny was standing by my side, his earlobe to earlobe grin looking sleazy and liar like.  “What is it you want?”  he asked.

“Well Johnny, you think you’re pretty slick don’t you?  I knew you weren’t giving me a car out of the goodness of your Hollywood heart. How much did you pay for the car you gave me?”

Johnny coughed like a nervous dog. “It was selling for two grand but it’s used of course.  It works, don’t worry about that, at least it started five days ago.  If anything is wrong with it don’t be too concerned you can get it fixed and it won’t cost much.  Just take it.”

I stepped in real close and cozy, the end of my nose touching the end of Johnny Depp’s.  “Lets be personal Johnny,” I said low and serious.  “I know very well that you’ve been selling used cars for years.  If you bought this one for me for two grand, you collect at least eighteen hundred dollars from the commission.  You know what that means don’t ya?”

Johnny swallowed hard. “Uh…no.”

“It means you are only paying two hundred dollars for that damn car.  Ha!  Some gift giver you are.  Know what you are Johnny Depp?  You’re nothing but a cheap used car salesman with an earlobe grin.”

And there you have it folks.  You thought Johnny Depp was Jack Sparrow or that kid from 21 Jump Street, or perhaps a tourist and butt of Ricky Gervais’ jokes but you were wrong…oh.so.wrong.  Johnny sells used cars and I got the dream Toyota to prove it too!


Author: valo

I am a poet, writer and activist with a special interest in human rights for children and women as well as the elimination of poverty worldwide. If you read this today, feed someone locally for me will you? Drop off a non perishable food item at the food bank nearest you and consider yourself hugged. Thank you!

17 thoughts on “Dream Poem #5”

  1. I have a huge poster of Johnny outside my bedroom door… so sad I am, haha. And his shirt is open to the naval and he has just a little smirk rather than a smile and dammit, he’s never visited me in a dream. I had a dream last night – much the same as my last dream although this time the attacker(s) were a hoarde of chinamen. There has to be a root to it. And what I really want is Johnny Depp. 🙂

    1. I will send Johnny over to you later Kiersty lol If Mr. Depp has enough free time to give me crappy used cars, then he has the time to visit my busker friend in the UK! 😉 That dream you had sounds scary indeed! Johnny needs to drop in as Jack Sparrow and freak the attacker(s) out. 🙂

    1. Hi Benedicte 🙂 I have a Pontiac Vibe, but the engine is a Toyota engine and it’s brilliant on gas. Probably one of the best cars I’ve ever had. Thanks so much for remembering my article and for this link. I’ll go over and check it out now and I’ll let you know if it’s somewhere I can submit it. I’ve got some fantastic photos of his studio, as well as his house which is a work of art in itself. Hugs to you for your help.

    1. Hi Devika 🙂 Cars, cats and just about everything else too. Lately I seem to be on a celebrity bender and I don’t really know why. Now, if only I could dream next weeks winning lottery numbers!

    1. lol I adore Johnny Depp, at least I did until I saw his sour puss in the audience at the Golden Globes when Ricky Gervais poked fun at The Tourist. That dude was chewing his gum like he wanted to punch Ricky Gervais. A sense of humour in anyone is kind of essential I think. Now, about the meaning. I have no freaking idea about this one Gabrielle!

      1. Okay Gabrielle, this is very mysterious! Two days and two lines that are pivotal. I’m going to puzzle on this while and see what floats to the surface. 🙂

  2. two hons are maybe better than three stooges^^, but clooney plays in the same commercial, so maybe tonight you’ll have 2 johns and 1 george^^

    1. Nah Gilles, I think tonight I’ll dream about words on pages that fly out the window and land on the desk of an editor at Random House and when they return they will fly into my room with a nice advance check and a 2 book contract to sign. Either that or I’ll dream about peace on earth. Oh yeah, George Clooney is gay ya know and waaaaaaaaay in the closet.

    1. Hahahaha Gilles! I didn’t know what you were referring to with Malcovich so I googled ‘instant coffee John Malcovich’ and saw that he has done a commercial on French TV. You are, as always, very clever. I’m a lucid dreamer until the celebrities creep in and then who the hell knows what this nonsense is about. Now, if the two Johns, Malcovich and Depp turn up in my dream tonight I’m blaming a certain contrary Frenchman who pretends to know how women think. 😉 And, if he continues to be contrary like that, I’ll send Depp and Malcovich over to his dream with coffee and cars that won’t start. :0 hahahaha

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