I’ll bet most of you who read this have either seen or heard of Oprah’s interview with Mackenzie Phillips.  I’ll bet most of you have been reading about Polanski’s arrest.  I’ll bet most of you don’t like the topic, for various reasons all of which fall under the heading:  Secrecy.  It is so like human beings to talk endlessly about viagra,  STD’s, one night stands, orgasms etc.  However, when you mention child sexual abuse, a deep and profound silence replaces the talking.  No one has anything to say.  If you mention suicide, anorexia, phobias, PTSD, self mutilation, prostitution, drug abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, people may shy away at first, but eventually they’ll drop their two cents in the jar.   How ironic it is that people will talk about the effect but not the cause.  Show me someone who has suffered from any one or more of those conditions and I’ll show you someone who has experienced either overt or covert sexual abuse.   Of course, PTSD being the exception due primarily to the suffering of combat soldiers.

The media has become a help mate to those who abuse children.  There is a mass grooming taking place in television, magazines, film, literature and art.  It’s been going on a long time but now it’s so blatant and those who produce it so bold and unrepentant, that it’s like an out of control train, headed straight for any child it can reach.  Children see Miley Cyrus and think: she is dressing like that and she is a kid so it’s okay.  Remember that magazine shoot with her father? Children see Britney Spears gyrating in a school girl’s uniform announcing she’s not that innocent and think:  If I dress like that and do that people will like me and I’ll be cool too.  Children see  too much. Children have had their innocence stolen by crafty adults who manipulate words and images for a living and parents who are apathetic and in denial.  After a while, when people are bombarded by an image,  they become desensitized to it and what is evil and obscene, becomes acceptable, allowing terrible things to happen to the most vulnerable and precious members of the human race, our kids.  We all let this happen you know.  We still are.  Pretending it’s not there and minimizing it.  This is not going to make it go away and just as an infection gradually becomes worse, destroying the host that feeds it if not treated, so too will our society be destroyed if we allow the sexual abuse of our children to flourish because we refuse to demand the arrest and serious conviction of those who abuse and those who promote it.   We are living with an epidemic and it will be the end of the human race if we don’t do something to stop this scourge.  How do I know?  Because I have survived it and I carry those scars with me everyday.

As for Polanksi, it’s more important to note who is NOT signing the petition to have him released and to ask yourself why that is.  Remember that silence I mentioned earlier?  Deafening isn’t it?


Author: valo

I am a poet, writer and activist with a special interest in human rights for children and women as well as the elimination of poverty worldwide. If you read this today, feed someone locally for me will you? Drop off a non perishable food item at the food bank nearest you and consider yourself hugged. Thank you!

16 thoughts on “Mackenzie”

  1. Hi Val,

    As an advocate for abused and neglected children and a survivor of an abusive childhood myself, this topic is very very close to my heart. In my expereince, unless people have been personally affected by the abuse of a child they very limited ability to reflect upon the power imbalance of an adult perpetrator and a child victim. It is a desperately tragic indictment of society that we can not take for granted that a child’s rights and protection will be considered first and foremost. However in terms of our spriritual evolution as a planet, I believe we are on the path to returning to a place where such corruption is not as acceptable. It’s just a slow, slow journey. Thank goodness we have this forum to spread the message around the world as we broadcast the truth in defence of children.

    And yes, as the mother of two girls, I am appallled on a daily basis about the lack of consideration given to the sexualisation of our girls through media, music and fashion. I’m not sure how, but somehow my girls have survived it and are growing into the two most delightfully well-rounded, unaffected and confident girls I know !

    1. Your comment is so well articulated Colleen that there is nothing more I can add except that I’m happy you have also healed and that you made it. HUGS Thank you for working on behalf of those little ones who are so vulnerable, just as you and I were once. You are a special lady indeed. 🙂

  2. Very brave post val, very brave. But I have to confess that I do not know several of the people that you mention there, Ophra (barely), Mackenzie Phillips no idea, but Polansky I know, and I know the case also, which is not so common for me because I never know who is who of the people who appear on the media.
    You left me thinking, and I am still doing it why is it that those things are talked about and the other s not, I do not get it, I can not understand the reason of this now. I think in baudillards texts, which I have in my blog there is a hint about this, but I am not sure about that.

    Well talking about Baudillard I remembered his words: Obscenity begins when there is no more spectacle, no more stage, no more theater, no more illusion, when every-thing becomes immediately transparent, visible, exposed in the raw and inexorable light of of information and communication. We no longer partake of the drama of alienation, but are in the ecstasy of communication. Thus alienation gives way to obscene ecstasy. This obscenity is no longer sexual but rather cool and communicational; Simultaneously the subject has a need to speak and nothing to say — to affirm his/her existence in the face of the disappearance of the subject and the hypervisibility of the obscene object: The need to speak, even if one has nothing to say, becomes more pressing when one has nothing to say, just as the will to live becomes more urgent when life has lost its meaning

    Hope you are doing all right Val, take care.

    1. Hi Mariana, so pleased you saw the importance of this post. It’s okay that you aren’t familiar with the celebrities I cite. Over here in North America, people are celebrity absorbed and they have so much influence it’s scary. However, because they have this social importance, it’s impressive when they utilized it for the common good rather than acting out their addictions and bad behaviour. I’m a survivor of a lot of things and I’m going to thank you for the bravery compliment. If I am brave, it is because I’ve had no choice really. Lots of people relying on me all my life. I know of Baudillard and his words are very apt, especially regarding the ultimate selfishness focusing on communicating when one has nothing to say. Brilliant Mariana! How disgraceful that one human being will do such things to another who is vulnerable and I completely agree that the more a person is immersed in an empty vacuum of self, the more obsessed they are to prove the opposite. Thanks Mariana for injecting my posts with thoughtful intellectual meaning. HUGS

  3. One of the reasons I love you, Val, is your ability to take the spectrum of the human condition in its entirety and put the various shades of mankind into words, from the bright spots to the dark parts. This subject is certainly a dark part, but it is important enough to bring out into the light. The media and our pop-culture centered culture desensitizes us to so many things. The beauty of blogging is that it allows us all the power to add our own voices to the chorus previously controlled by the media and the entertainment industry (which includes, sadly, “news” divisions). By speaking your heart and your personal truth, you place a ripple into the the waters that may wash over the feet of someone reading your words… someone who needs to hear what you have to say because they might be afraid to say it themselves.

    1. A. I’m extremely happy you don’t have esophageal cancer B. I’m tickled five different shades of turkey dink pink that you liked this poem AND C. Excuuuse me? I thought ‘I’ was the pillar and ‘YOU’were the needy ego! 😉 If you think it’s that good ( which kind of astounds me that you would think that, being the humble and self effacing hag I am) then I will submit it somewhere. Where? I have not damn idea, but I bet you do! 🙂 Let me know if you have a good place to send it and I will overcome my sunlight deprivation caused apathy and seal the envelope and my fate. HUGS Bry, I love you to itty bitty bits.

  4. Your right, Val, and frankly, if there is a cause,
    what in the hell was Mother Nature thinking? Sexual
    deviation has always been a mystery to me. The Bible
    condemns it, and since I grew up in church it may
    have been those experiences that kept me so ‘normal’.

    Yeah, history is replete with such stories, but I do
    have to wonder to what extent the internet is to blame
    for what seems to be a proliferation in the last 20 yrs.

    Can child porn be related to the sexual preference
    issue? I mean, our society is much more tolerable
    nowadays towards the gay community. Is that how
    these men see their desires and wishes? As preferences? They surely don’t see themselves as
    sick in the head, which is the only way I can see them.

    Another point that comes to mind is, that girls used
    to be married off as early as the age of 14 or so.
    Now the law says 18, right? Is this a flaw in the
    speed and effectiveness of evolutionary forces? Have
    we really drawn the line at a certain age where we
    can say, “Thou shall not…” have sexual relations
    with any youngster under the age of what? Forget
    the law, it doesn’t quench these desires very well.

    I know of a girl, aged 14, who lost her virginity
    a few months back. The boy was 16. No one was forced.
    How old must a male be before we can say an act like
    that is definitely child abuse? What is acceptable?

    You don’t have to answer all those questions, Val.
    I just don’t get it, and doubt that I’ll ever understand completely. Please excuse my ramble. UT

    1. Hi Tree, thanks for commenting. Let me say at the outset that mother nature has wired us up to naturally have an aversion to inbreeding and to abusing those who are young and vulnerable. Abusers step over that line by choice, not compulsion although they would have you believe that. The other lie that many professionals desperately cling to because they fear the truth alternative of the existence of choosing an evil way of life, is that abusers get that way because they are abused themselves. This tactic is used by a great many paedophiles to diminish their acts by displaying them as victims also, thus killing two birds with one stone: making it seem like they were made this way and cant’ help it and also that they are harmless and victims too. Of course it’s all bullshit and anyone who has been victimized as a kid and has gotten help will tell you this. Being abused has nothing to do with being an abuser. It’s a choice. Period. It’s about power and control and selfishness. These people abuse children because they are helpless and can be victimized without consequences to the perpetrator, and I think the Roman Polanski matter proves this. As far as age of consent and people marrying at fourteen etc during certain periods in history, we also used to send children into the fields and down mine shafts too, but we are educated, and more socially advanced now and hence, at least in the western world this has stopped. We do however use and abuse child labour in third world countries to fill up our Walmart stores etc. What we can’t see we pretend isn’t there, which is why what Mackenzie Phillips did is so damn powerful and important. In response to church, let me just say this, wherever there are children and families gathered you will find abusers there waiting for an opportunity. The church, or organized religion continues to be filled with abusers of every stripe. I’m not a ‘church’ person but I’ve been down the Catholic road etc and I’ve made my rounds and been to temple, mosque, baptist revival, pentecostal tongue lashings lol and it’s all nonsense, but that is something an individual has to realize on their own in their own time. Lastly, I’ll address the fourteen year old girl and the sixteen year old boy scenario you mentioned. Age of consent is and should legally be this: Adult. Adult is NOT sixteen, fourteen, five, nine etc, it’s eighteen. Ideally, sexuality shouldn’t be explored until at least that age but hopefully a bit older. The media has been infiltrated by abusers and because of this, the lines of what is acceptable what is not have been blurred so much that no says anything about a child (Miley Cyrus) being exploited by Disney for gawd sake. At sixteen she is filmed doing a mock striptease during her concert and this after she did a very inappropriate photo shoot with her father. No one said, hey lets investigate this family, or lets charge Leibovitz with producing child porn and the magazine with distributing it. Why? Because they are making money from the desensitized appetites of a nation and therefore selling children as sexualized objects. However, now that we are talking about this stuff openly and there is nowhere for abusers to hide. The internet has been a liberator and although it is used by monsters to do some very evil things, it is also used to expose and catch them. For the first time, victims of child abuse are approaching a level playing field and regaining power over themselves and their lives. Only good can come from this openess. Only good.

  5. OK….I wont be flippant here because in truth, it angers me; years spent dealing with my own issues on that very same subject. Therapy is not cheap and it hasn’t been pretty. Soemtimes I’m inappropriate (Just ask Paul) defiance I suppose. There are no easy solutions and written words don’t cut it, so I leave it alone.

    Thanks for putting it out there in black and white.
    Will it make a difference? Probably not. Polanski, Phillips, high profile names but what about the nameless ones? It’s been going on since the beginning of time, why? Twisted psychology? Genetics? TV? Pick something.

    Sometimes, victims just want to get on with their lives in quiet, some want to seek revenge in an uproar. Truth? The damage done, and NOTHING will change that.

    If its not love its murder.

    1. Bindo, thank you. What causes it? The one thing no one wants to acknowledge or accept regarding this horror: They choose to. Sometimes victims do want to get on with their lives in quiet, I agree, but it’s usually quiet desperation, avoidance and fear. You are right, the damage is done and nothing will change that, but…when you take that damage and convert it into something else that is good and shine a light in the darkness, it will make a difference. I know it, I’ve just proven it amigo. 🙂 The last line you wrote: If it’s not love, it’s murder, summed it up to perfection. Oh my, I think you may have done some of that converting from pain into something good. Shine on bindo, shine on. 🙂

  6. There is probably more about this I could say, but wondering if I should given I wouldn’t want to use names of people who might not want to talk about it. But, I did just want to say I know too many people who were abused as kids and the fact that you acknowledge that and speak up for it here is very important.

    The hardest thing about Mackenzie’s story is that it is so sensationalized and the way she delivered it makes so many people question it. I hate to ever question someone who may have been the victim of abuse but the way she went about telling was probably not the best way.

    And I’m sorry to anyone who wants to defend Polanski – He did it. He fled. He should have to pay some kind of consequence.

    1. Hi Jessie, first, thank you for commenting on this. I understand your reluctance to mention names etc. Our generation is the one that is going to lance the abscess, whether we like it or not. This here box we are talking on is not a social/spiritual accident, it’s a technology that will change the human race. Never before have people felt so empowered to speak their minds and express their truths. We’ve come a long way since the printing press eh? As for Mackenszie’s timing and forum for disclosing the abuse at the hands of her father, everyone has a different opinion. Personally, I feel she had no choice. She tried in vain for many years to get someone to reach into her soul and help her. They all knew, step mothers, half sisters and probably most of the people involved in that scene at the time. She did this because she was forced to and I’m proud of her. After she did her interviews, the calls to rape crisis centres all over the US and Canada hit an all time high. She did her job, she set herself free and she took along a few strangers with her to liberty. I wish her peace now. HUGS Jessie, for being a good soul.

  7. I’m one of the few who hadn’t known of this prior to reading your post. So I googled the story and some of what turned up is even worse than the story itself. For some odd reason, there are some people out there who feel that humor is appropriate in this situation. Don’t even try to read blogs on this–you’ll feel sick.

    I can only protect my children to the extent that I teach them and in places where I can to some degree control their environment. I can NOT for the life of me understand what the hell is wrong with society—one that sexualizes and exploits women and children while everybody drinks the Kool Aid numbing agent. Where are all of the parents out there?

    I am so glad you posted this. I hope it infuriates EVERYBODY who reads it, then maybe there will be hope after all. It’s not enough to THINK “it’s wrong” people need to stand up and SAY or DO something about this now.

    1. I love and respect you Danielle and I am ecstatic that your children have you for a mother. Thank you for being such a good and strong woman. HUGS

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s