Redemption is the sliver of a chance someone offers you. It’s always free and looks exactly like an olive branch
Courage is insanity altered by love and truth
Money is a tool, used by tools to make tools to control people who don’t like tools
Show me an angry driver and I’ll show you the owner of a Ford truck
If you take one mindless act and combine it with a good dose of reality, you will then have consequences
Confucius said a lot but from what I hear, he didn’t do much about it beyond posturing
Wisdom is bullshit with an ideology
When someone says they have the answer to the meaning of life, what they are really saying is that they are stupid
No one knows why we are here, but I have inkling it has something to do with fucking up over and over again
Famous people are just like you and I. Okay, they’re not. But they used to be. So I’m kinda right.
Once in a while you see someone who is exactly like a train wreck, complete with mangled body fascination. You keep looking, and wonder, do I look like that to someone else? Yeah, we’re all somebody else’s train wreck
When a dog looks at you he is saying “I’m your best pal and I idolize you.”
When a cat looks at you he is saying “You’re my best pal and you idolize me.”
No two ways about it, there are three ways to look at every situation: The right way, the wrong way and the way that works for everyone
Facts about cigarette butts found in the gutter:
Long butts always belong to hookers who can never finish a cigarette for obvious reasons and they are usually menthol
Short butts belong to drunks and burn away before being stubbed out due to…well…being drunk and forgetting it’s existence on the end of their fingers
Hollowed out butts belong to junkies who are so strung out they would smoke their fingers if they could