From butter yellow sunrises

To firecracker sunsets

I lumbered under the weight of a thousand eyes

Watching to see the cracks expand and swallow me alive

Over hills and bridges I walked in endless exhaustion

Under the radar I flew spreading my illegal wings

I dug underneath the refuse of discarded human beings

Feeling my way in the light of their darkness

In the hours between terror and cold daylight

Out of the black and blue and into the red

I watched their lips move in time to their lies

Listening for the melody of truth inside the dirty beat

olev

levo

olve

elvo

evlo

No matter how you unspell that word it comes at you like a knife wielding maniac determined to destroy your sense of proportion, but when it ends in ashes and midnight sings the blues a poet can again make love to her darling suffering muse.

*When you dare to love you toy with pain*

~msloftis

Brandy

Wine

Beer

Vodka

Liqueur

I wrote your name on a napkin, traced those beautiful letters with my gentle finger and felt the hindrance deep and wide a gaping tempting whale mouth swallowing the good in us until we drown in the belly so far down no echo of the dying of this love could ever be heard amid the denial of the lying drink.

deep inside me

moving along my veins and arteries

leaving mortar pits in its wake

snaking and sliding along the tops of good feelings

constrictor

blood letter

fist maker

born a bastard to my shame

the filth that covers my family name

you are the last to take the blame

What’s that they say about the balance kept

an itemizing and a tally?

Oh yes! I rememeber how it goes…

it’s really only relative

right up your filthy alley

in front of an open door

but who won’t walk through

how about the simple approach

the ever humble

and always effective

Primal

basic

and tempered

FUCK YOU!

I just threw a brick at you

my conflicted one

with your bullshit written all over it

and don’t you yet know

that what you don’t know

I can easily learn

while you check your reflection in the dirty mirror

and forget that I am right behind you

and these walls have ears

and eyes

and water running down the sides

and I smell the rot within you spread

eagled on your broken bed

of lies

Your entire life shimmy sham

unsure

fear eyes

racing heart

beating

lamb to the slaughter bleeting

what do I say

to the inside cryers

wanting nothing but to keep the hounds at bay

shall I sacrifice it all for what I know to be a trap

a skillful laying down of promises that cannot be fulfilled

like someone dressed to kill

gentle mother lungs breathing into me

hands clutching blades of green

the white hot summer sun

true hammer of the gods

beating down and into my impoverished soul

the outsider being turned inside out

putting out the inferno with one tiny tear

from the corner of one blue eye