Flat

I could stretch myself elastic band thin

This panorama of my soul your horizon line

Waves of painful  seas swelling against permanence

Sand and time defining my presence in your life

A thousand suns dipping beneath me

Rising above me

Over and over

back and forth

Until you realize

I don’t make this world flat

You do

Published in: on July 4, 2009 at 9:59 pm Comments (12)
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12 Comments Leave a comment.

  1. On July 4, 2009 at 11:26 pm jessiecarty Said:

    This makes me want to say – uh huh girlfriend! :)

    i think you should definitely play with that idea of stretching the elastic band more that could be a terribly fun extended metaphor :)

    Reply
    • On July 4, 2009 at 11:49 pm valbrussell Said:

      Indeed Jessie, you know I love me some metaphors, extended and otherwise! :)

      Reply
  2. On July 5, 2009 at 7:04 am The Dark Lord Said:

    Awesome!! Superb imagery, wonderful lines.. Loved reading it!!

    Reply
    • On July 5, 2009 at 12:40 pm valbrussell Said:

      Thank you Lord of all things dark! :)

      Reply
  3. On July 5, 2009 at 11:27 am Lorraine Said:

    defiant and provoking I get the sense that you know…I’m a loner, and I can’t keep a line straight ;)

    Reply
    • On July 5, 2009 at 12:39 pm valbrussell Said:

      Lines are meant to be wavy, squiggly, curvy and occasionally, if one must make them this way, straight. ;) Hugs Lorraine and merci

      Reply
  4. On July 6, 2009 at 5:29 pm poeticgrin Said:

    “I could stretch myself elastic band thin”

    What an opener!!!

    I like where you take it, and where it takes us.

    Dig those final lines!

    Reply
    • On July 6, 2009 at 5:52 pm valbrussell Said:

      :) :) :) That makes me smile Bryan! I wasn’t sure about this one. I also wasn’t sure if the last two lines would sound dry and harsh to the reader, but apparently it worked. No one laughed, so it was a success! :)

      Reply
  5. On July 6, 2009 at 5:54 pm bindo Said:

    Hi Val…
    We couldn’t be more different in content, but your style, timing and imagery are awesome… I have added you to le blogroll..

    Cheers
    Bindo

    Reply
    • On July 6, 2009 at 5:59 pm valbrussell Said:

      Merci Bindo, le blogroll is le awesome! Well we may be different in content but I used to be a homeless chain smoker seven years ago, if that helps at all! ;) Oh the stories we could share would straighten your outlook and curl your hair.

      Reply
  6. On July 8, 2009 at 2:44 am calliopespen Said:

    OOhh awesome imagery and metaphor! Love this, and love the last two lines. POW, knocked me out.

    Reply
    • On July 8, 2009 at 2:26 pm valbrussell Said:

      We’ve all known a dude like that, a flat maker. lol Those last two lines were almost changed, so I’m glad I ignored the urge and left them intact.

      Reply

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